Homestay

I am constantly trying to balance my home stay situation and Peace Corps group dynamic! I want to become integrated and create a tight knit relationship with my home stay family but I also want some time to relax and bond with my Peace Corps peers. I have a really hard time feeling guilty about not spending enough time at home with my family. Its not that I don’t like them because they are great! I guess its just kind of awkward when I go home and really don’t have much to do. My sister is at school, my brothers out playing somewhere, my dads at work and my mom is cooking. I could go and awkwardly stand and watch my mom cook or ask if I can help. But I feel like when I ask to help she stands there and has nothing to do herself because there is a limited amount of cooking utensils.

Tonight I asked if I could help cook and my mom looked at my dad, as if she was looking for approval? Or some kind of look, I couldn’t figure it out, or maybe it was nothing? So I was kind of waiting for her to give me a job because I don’t know how they want their food cooked and im a guest in her kitchen. And then my dad said “Elysea go cook” so I got up and they had me toss the chicken pieces with a lemon, salt, garlic marinade. Then he had me put the pieces on a pan and into the oven. My mom had me start making a tomato, cucumber and onion salad. After a while my dad asked me if the chicken was burning! I had no idea it was my job to watch the chicken lol but it was fine so far. I asked him a few times after that if it was ready and he said no. So I let it cook for a while longer, assuming he was going to tell me when he thought it was ready. You know what you get for ass-uming cause they kinda burned and it was definitely implied that it was my fault lol a few times I heard them say throughout the dinner preparation that Elysea is cooking dinner tonight. So I guess if I offer to help cook dinner then im in charge of the whole thing. Its just really weird to be a guest in someone’s house for 10 weeks and be treated as if you have no ability to take care of yourself. I think because I don’t know how to do things the Mozambican way, I am thought of as a child who knows nothing. My family isn’t bad but its obvious that the community collectively believes that PCVs are helpless. And to be honest, some of them are and im not quite sure how they were surviving in the states lol but I guess college students can survive off of pb&j and top romin lol I really like my family but I will be happy when I can stop being a guest, feeling like a child and have my own space!