Mana Gloria

Mana (Sister) Gloria was the first person that I met from Chokwe.    Before volunteers go to where they will be living for the following two years, they attend a conference with their supervisors or counter parts and Gloria attended the conference with me as my counterpart.    I remember that the first day we had to present each other’s histories but we didn’t have enough time to discuss everything about ourselves.    So mana Gloria wrote down her history for me to read and was reviewing it with me while other people were presenting.    She was very worried about it, like we would be in trouble because we didn’t have enough information about each other.   I thought it was cute.  After the conference I moved into my new house in Chokwe.   Of course it is always hard and somewhat awkward to be living in a new place but mana Gloria was always welcoming with a smiling face, interested to talk and catch up with me whenever we worked together.   

A while back I got the chance to interview Gloria on her life story, in order to write a biography to share with churches in the states in hopes that she would get a sponsor to pay for her to go back to school.    She had been working in youth development for over 10 years, first with World Relief and then with Hlauleka.   While working for Hlauleka she facilitated kids clubs in the community 3 days a week.   When she was not teaching the kids clubs she would stay busy at the preschool buying our monthly supply of food, helping in the kitchen or in the classrooms.   She was married and a mother to 5 children of her own but also a stand in mother to multiple orphans in her neighborhood.   Gloria had a heart for children, especially orphans because her husband was an orphan.    During the interview we talked about the fact that she would be going to school out of town and so her husband would have to help out a lot more at home.  He said he didn’t mind and that he wanted her to take the opportunity to go to school.   In this culture that is nothing less than amazing for a man to be willing to do this for his wife.  It was really cool to see a relationship like that within this society. 

Later on in the year I invited Gloria to another conference where we learned about grant writing and project management together.    On the drive to the conference we chatted and laughed a lot.  I remember there were some Asian people on the bus with us and she asked me if I could ever marry a Chinese person.   I told her I could, that race wasn’t important to me and we had a long conversation about relationships and different cultures.   During the 3 day conference we worked together to write out a chicken raising project proposal.   When we returned home we continued writing and planning for the project and before I left to visit the states in Sept 2012 I turned in the proposal to Peace Corps.   I am still waiting to hear their response.  

Unfortunately Mana Gloria had been sick since 2008 and was only getting worse with time.   She always felt weak and sick and had been coughing up blood for a long time.   She had gone to both hospitals in Chokwe to try and discover the problem but no one could diagnose her.     Instead of sending her to specialists to find the real problem the hospital prescribed her tuberculosis medication for 6 months.  Finally after the meds didn’t fix the problem they referred her to the hospital in Maputo.   When I was traveling to Maputo to come visit the states in Oct Gloria was on the same bus.  We sat together and were able to chat a little bit.  She had some tests done in Maputo and returned home.   A few weeks later she got up to use the bathroom early in the morning and passed out on her way back to bed.    They took her to the hospital but she passed away a few hours later. 

When I returned from the states the first thing I was told is that there is bad news … Mana Gloria died.   I didn’t know how to react.  I was told so nonchalant, matter of factly, it just caught me off guard.   We attended the funeral the next day.  There was three parts to the funeral.    First everyone met at her house.  Neighbors, family, co-workers etc… it was a packed house, inside and out.    They had her body at the house and were letting people walk through to look at her.  I realize now that I got there as soon as her children were walking out from seeing her.   I am friends with all of her children and that was definitely the hardest part, seeing each of them reacting in their own painful way. 

I saw Tlongi, 14, first and she was being carried by 2 women screaming crying mama! Mama!  As I walked closer to the house I saw Milda, 19, sitting against a wall on the ground crying by herself.  A little further in front was Katoura, 18, who had already passed out once that day.  She just looked like a zombie, completely void of any emotions or thoughts.   Dorka,13, came out of the house crying being held by 3 women, collapsing and having to be carried.   Nelson, 10, came out being helped by 2 ladies, went and laid down with someone.    It became very real after seeing these children morn for their mother who they had all been so close with. 

My co-worker, Paulo, told me he would go with me if I wanted to see the body, but before I had a chance to respond my other co-worker came and brought me to where all the preschool staff were sitting.    When I first walked in I didn’t recognize anyone but as I looked around I realized that I knew everyone around me.   Our whole group was sitting together crying for their loss, so I just joined right in.   After a little while we all got up and got in cars to go to the church.   Friends and local business owners offered their cars to transport everybody to the church and later to the cemetery.   I think there were around 10 busses and trucks packed beyond capacity. 

In the car ride over some of my co-workers just lost it, whimpering uncontrollably.  I could feel that this was becoming real, the last goodbye.   We all entered the church and listened to a few groups of people sing songs and say something about Gloria.  They opened the casket one last time for people to see the body but I just couldn’t do it.   I know its supposed to be for closure but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.     We got back in the cars again to go to the cemetery and we sat for a while more while they buried her and said some more words.   The whole ceremony was in changana so I couldn’t understand anything.  

Afterwards we all went back to her house to talk and eat some food.   The family slaughtered a cow and cooked 75 kilos of rice for all of the guests.  It was very odd to me that as soon as we left the cemetery people’s demeanor immediately changed.  They were back to normal, like they had done their morning and now the event was over.    The older children were still distraught but the younger two were even smiling and helping serve food.  The way this culture deals with death is just amazing to me.   I guess if you dwelled on every death you would be constantly depressed but it is still something I don’t understand.  

People here do not die just from HIV/AIDS.  They die from unnecessary, treatable illnesses.   I am not saying that what Gloria died from was preventable but I do know she would have had a much better chance with better doctors and technology to help her.    It just irks me that her husband and close friends are doctors and still no one saw this situation as grave, needing immediate attention.   She had been sick coughing up blood for over 4 years and worked up until her last day.   

Instead of dumping butt loads of money into “fixing the problem of HIV” foreign aid should be going towards education and work experience opportunities.   Doctors should know that yes, coughing up blood is grave, usually ending in death and should be taken very seriously!   I heard recently that the only thing doctors in moz can diagnose is HIV, malaria and TB and from my experiences here it seems pretty true.   Because of this doctors just hand out malaria and TB meds like candy when they cannot find the real problem, thus provoking the sicknesses even more.   

I guess I just feel like putting money towards HIV is an easy out, only dealing with the surface issue that cannot be fixed without really getting to the deep rooted problem which is lack of education and experience.     But that would just take too much time and energy to deal with… lets just give them the medication… never REALLY monitor or evaluate the process and hope the problem fixes itself.       If we really want to help these people merely giving them medication and training them on how to use it, one time per year, is simply not enough!   Sorry if the end seems like a tangent but it is all relative to me.